There’s nothing quite like a crisis of faith to help put things in sharp perspective, especially as they pertain to your life’s greatest endeavor.
God, I was so naïve. I thought I knew what I was fighting for. A just world, and the beauty of it all. That’s what I told myself, at least. In reality, I’ve just fallen prey to the convenience of a lie. I was so sure that I was so right about everything. Now I’m afraid all we’ve been doing is just pretending to be heroes.
Anya tells me everything’s fine, it’s all under control, there’s nothing to worry about. She keeps saying to “just give it time.” Easy for her to say. She’s not the one with a steadily decaying heart. Any moment could be my last, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
Nothing except keep going.
Sharp perspective.
So, fine. Let’s keep going. Until it kills me.